Quiet please, Mr Shiceka is sleeping

Sicelo Shiceka

Our first passenger is Sicelo Shiceka.  You may know him as the Minister of Co-operative Governance and Traditional Affairs but he is just another passenger to us.  You must appreciate that all passengers on this train are entitled to the same exceptional service.

Please, we must ask that you remain quiet as the minister is currently in our medical carriage getting some much needed rest.  He's been there for the last month.  The people who catch this train often have very stressful lives and sometimes a little R&R is just what is needed.  We must stress that Mr Shiceka is an extreme case; his condition is so severe that we don't know when he will be up and about again.

You see, Mr Shiceka has quite outdone himself since boarding the train.  We hate to gossip about our esteemed passengers but Mr Shiceka has shown very little restraint in indulging in the luxuries we offer to our guests.  First class flights to Switzerland, staying in swanky hotels and limo rides; Such things are quite normal but Mr Shiceka partook in all the frivolity while visiting a girlfriend in jail in Switzerland.  All the while he was purporting to be on official World Cup business!  Why this is extraordinary behavior!  Even Mr Nyanda would be impressed!

But seriously, in nine months in 2009 he flew 183 times.  That's a flight every 1 and a half days!  How could one begrudge the minister a little time to recuperate?

Some of the old-timers just don't understand this.  We've seen them, you know, waiting at the stations patiently for the regular service when our Gravy Train pulls in.  They didn't get on board.  Not all of them anyway.  Somehow they seem to resent our passengers.  Why only last week Mr Asmal was shouting from the platform that Mr Shiceka should be thrown off, saying that since he was unable to perform someone else should take over his position.  Thrown off?  In his condition?  Ludicrous!  I had a quiet word with Mr Shiceka and he told me he intended to ride this train all the way to the end of the line.

Anyway... there are many more passengers for me to introduce you to.  Please follow me.

REFERENCES
Replace Shiceka if he can’t perform - Asmal
Minister splurges public money