Slumdog Billionaire or is something fishy with Mr Sushi?

Kenny Kunene

Mr. Kenny Kunene is the next Gravy Train passenger I would like to introduce you to. He's drawn the ire of a lot of people, like Zwelenzima Vavi. But, let's face it, who cares who you tick off when you're not only mates mates with the current president but with the future president as well: Julius Malema even held Mr. Sushi up as a model for the youth of the country. They should all get rich off the coffers of government according to the Youth League leader.

But really, all the hullabaloo in the papers about Mr. Kunene is absolutely uncalled for. Isn't it ridiculous how the media have been gunning for him ever since he ate sushi off some half-naked models? Mr. Kunene is one of the most important passengers on the Gravy Train where at least we appreciate that it's only whether one has a lot of money - and not where it came from - that matters.

Mr. Kunene is a self made millionaire (much like Roux Shabangu) who has helped make the New South Africa the success it is and just goes to prove that, in this New South Africa, all one needs to drag oneself up from the gutter and turn oneself into a success is some hard work, a bit of charisma and a little help from one's friends.  Mr. Kunene's rags to riches tale is one so incredible that it would be considered too far fetched even for a Bollywood script.

He grew up in poverty, got mixed up with the wrong crowd and later became embroiled in a world of gangs and crime, eventually landing in jail for fraud. There he met his future business partner, Gayton McKenzie, who was serving time for armed robbery.

The two crooks first made money selling Mr. McKenzie's autobiography to schools in the western cape before hitting the big time with Central Rand Gold. The company, listed in London and Johannesburg, has had in excess of R1-billion pumped in by shareholders and on the back of Mr. McKenzie and Mr. Kunene's ability to arrange mining rights fast they ended up as directors of the company - even though they are disqualified as being directors by the Companies Act. The company has since squandered it's money on excessive salaries and payments for dubious consultants and now is set to close. But Mr. Sushi and friends have found a buyer for their services in Gold Fields, one of South Africa's oldest companies.

Nowadays he's known for his nightclubs and the lavish parties he throws - his R700 000 birthday bash, the Mpisane's R1-million vow renewal bash and of course President Zuma's daughter's wedding bash - but it was on the Gravy Train in the early days of his success that he first tried the techiques that he has so well honed since. Luckily his parties have improved since the days when we ate sausage rolls off the hairy belly of Kobus our train driver.

REFERENCES
The man who dares SA to question his millions
Malema backs sushi tycoons
How a Joburg “gold mine” ate $200m in cash
Gold Fields, an advocate and two convicted criminals
How sushi king went from Mr Price to Mr Pricey

Even with his immense wealth and Lamborghinis, he remains a man of the people and is always ready to give back to the community. Only recently, at the final ANC municipal election rally he was giving out R100 notes to people in the crowd.

Kenny Kunene is proof that, even in this cynical day and age, fairy tales do still come true.